Blue Collar Worker, Blue Collar Woman, Blue Collar Man, Blue Collar Lifestyle

August 2008

Feeling Squeezed?

As women in this country, we sometimes feel as if we are supposed to do all, know all and be all for everybody all the time. Back in the early days of the women's lib movement, women fought to have jobs, to have a life outside the home. But when we started working outside the house, the work inside the house stayed the same for most women, too. So we had women working one job then going home to work another. The sad part is that for a lot of us, it still is that way. On top of that, with the aging population, many put in a third shift caring for aging parents, then rushing home for the fourth shift with the kids. No wonder so many marriages end in divorce. What woman has time for a partner, let alone a romance, with this sort of schedule!

In many families, husbands pitch in to help, and older kids do chores to help out, too. Yet many women still have husbands that come home to 'rest and relax' oblivious to the wife hard at work keeping the house up after a day on the job out of the house. Why do some men help but others are so clueless? The first finger points at his mother. Did she make herself a martyr to home and family? Or maybe she was a stay at home- that was her job. Maybe nobody expected him to help out when he was a kid. Here's a hint for those shopping for a mate: how he treats his mother is how he'll treat you. Does he expect Mom to wait on him or does his tell his mother to sit down and take it easy while he waits on her? We mothers need to take this to heart with our own sons, too. Boys need to learn more about housework than just taking out the trash. If a guy can play videos games he has the mental capacity to scrub a toilet. Kids may grumble about having to do work, but doing so builds confidence and skills they won't get elsewhere.

Secondly, if we are not getting the help we need from our spouses and families, we shoulder a good portion of the blame ourselves. What makes us think we have to be superwoman? If we don't bring in good money, work on our kids' school functions, keep the house spotless and attend to every one else's needs but our own, we get the feeling we've failed somehow. Or that if people wanted to help us, they would and we wouldn't have to ask. Truth is, most people are not very good mind readers but will help if asked. And if you are shouldering a disproportionate share of the work load, you are more than entitled to ask.

This is a complicated issue and a cause for strife in the home. Smart husbands know that the key to more romance in the bedroom has a lot to do with his contributions around the house out of the bedroom. There is a reason women who get a yearly vacation live longer than those who don't. Sometimes you just gotta take a little time out for yourself, whether any body else likes it or not. You deserve it and you need it.

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Dedicated to the hardworking Americans that keep this country running.